Publication date: February 2nd, 2021
Publisher: Mascot Books
Pages: 327
Synopsis:
Nothing is more important to Amelia Cox than her faith. As she enters puberty, she vows to remain a virgin and not share herself with another man until her wedding day. So begins the journey as she searches for her happily ever after.
Amelia grows into a beautiful, desirable woman and finally catches the eye of Gabriel, the man she's loved since they were kids in Sunday school. Amelia must now reconcile her budding sexuality and her desire to remain faithful to herself. Will she be able to remain committed to her vow when the raging 1960s culture around her screams otherwise?
Along her journey, Amelia learns patience, forgiveness, perseverance, and ultimately love. In Straight as an Arrow, the bedroom door is thrown open wide to reveal what really takes place in the marriage bed of the faithful.
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Excerpt
ON SATURDAY, JULY 10, 1965, a hot summer of my twelfth year, I woke to see blood between my legs. I doubled over with excruciating pains in my tummy and back. My bed and my pajamas, drenched with blood, clung to my body. I knew at the tender age of twelve and a half that I, Amelia Aimee Cox, was dying.
"Mommy!" I screamed. "Please help me, it hurts so bad." More pain sliced through my body, taking my breath away. "I'm dying."
My voice trembling, my heart pounding with fear, tears streaming down my cheeks, I'd never been more scared in my life. My mother ran into the room in a panic. Taking a look at me, noting the blood on my pajamas and bed, she smiled. "Ah sweetheart, you are going to be just fine," she said. "You've become a woman today. Once you're dressed, we'll have a chat about the 'birds and the bees.'"
I filled the bathtub with as much hot water as I could stand. Gingerly stepping into the steamy water, I rested my head and shoulders against the back, allowing my hips and legs to submerge. Ah, the heat helped. I soaped my entire body, slipping down, easing my back into the water to rinse off.
As I toweled off, Mommy came into the bathroom with fresh clothes. She reached under the vanity to pull out a belt and a sanitary napkin, instructing me on how to hook the pad. Donning my fresh pajamas, I followed her into my bedroom.
"Take this." She handed me a pill and a glass of water. "It'll help with pain." Mommy began the "birds and the bees" story. "What you are going through is God's way of preparing you to be a woman who will have babies."
"Mommy, I already know where babies come from."
"Oh?" She swallowed, blinking several times, a startled expression on her face. She asked hesitantly, "Where is that, Amelia?"
"The mommy and the daddy get dressed up, they go to the hospital nursery, and they pick out the baby they want." I beamed proudly.
"Um, not exactly." She smiled. "It's more complicated. What you're experiencing is normal Girls have a menstrual cycle, which is controlled by hormones that play a big part in your ovaries and eggs. Each month, these hormones make the eggs mature, preparing them for fertilization by sperm."
"Mommy, what's sperm?"
"Hmm, think of them as little seeds you'd plant in a garden." Removing the hot water bottle from my stomach, she lightly traced the parts of my body so I could visualize the areas. "The egg travels down from your uterus through Fallopian tubes to your vagina, and if the egg is not fertilized, bleeding occurs, lasting about five days. Every twenty-eight days or so, the cycle repeats itself. The whole process is called menstruation, or a period. In the life of a woman, this monthly cycle continues roughly for forty years."
Mommy propped herself up, noticing my discomfort, and squeezed my hand. "Your breasts will develop, you'll grow taller, your body will slim down, and you'll see hair growing on your vulva," she said, drawing my hand to the area. "You'll have hair under your arms and on your legs."
She went on to explain the differences between girls and boys. "We girls have vaginas--that's the inside part of your vulva--whereas boys have penises. You may hear some crude terms for these body parts such as cock, dick, or peter when referred to a boy's penis, and pussy and cunt for a girl's vagina." Mommy's face turned bright red. "In this house, we don't use such vulgar language." Clearing her throat, she added, "Boys don't menstruate, but they do through physical changes of their own. They develop facial hair, as well as underarm, chest, and leg hair. Their voices become deeper in tone. As boys and girls mature in their development, they become attracted to the opposite sex; all related to hormonal changes occurring between twelve and eighteen.
"By the time they get their first cars, boys will start asking you out." She hugged me tightly before proceeding. "Though I'm sure your daddy will try to forestall, because to him, no boy will be good enough for his daughter. On a date, boys kiss you and touch your breasts, trying to arouse you so you'll have sex with him."
"Mommy, what does having sex mean?"
"It's when a boy puts his penis into your vagina while he thrusts and moves it around... a lot." My mother's face colored, turning bright pink as she wiped the sweat off her brow.
My eyes widened in surprise. "Ew, sounds like it'd hurt a lot."
"It's up to you to tell them no because God wants you to remain a virgin until you are married."
"Like the Virgin Mary? Why do girls have to be the ones to say no?"
My mother reached over me to take a sip of water. "Sweetie, I know it doesn't seem fair. Regrettably, even today in some circles, boys and men are praised for being sexually active with as many females as possible. Whereas we're expected to be good girls--to be virtuous and pure. It's known as the double standard. One set of rules for males, and an entirely different set of rules for females. With their raging hormones, men don't always think with the brains God gave them. Men think they're the strong ones, but in reality it's us girls who are stronger. Men don't like to be told no, but they'll respect you for it."
"Boys should be virtuous and pure, too!" I said, folding my arms across my chest to show my displeasure.
"While the penis is inside the woman, with all the thrusting around, the men releases his sperm, and it can cause pregnancy. Girls are the only ones who can get pregnant; that's why it's up to you to say no until you are married. Some will try to lure you into having sex by saying, 'If you love me, you'll let me put it in.' Amelia, if a guy really loves you, he won't ask you to have sex until you're married. Don't let a boy tell you a girl can't get pregnant the first time, because she can. If you get pregnant outside of wedlock, it's your reputation that's ruined, not his. It's the girl who is considered the fallen woman, the whore. Sadly, once a girl loses her good reputation, it's almost impossible for her to get it back. The man is commended while the woman is considered dishonest--that she needs a man to make an 'honest' woman out of her."
"Mommy, it's unfair!" I suspected there'd be a great many things I'd think were unjust now.
"Amelia, once you're married in the eyes of God and the church, sexual intercourse is blessed and sanctified by God. Your virginity is your special gift you give to your husband but once." Thumping her fingers on her legs, she searched for the right words. "Intercourse is like having a bodily conversation with your husband, expressing your love, joy, and passion."
"Do you and Daddy have these conversations? Do you like it?"
My mother's eyes widened with fear. She swallowed several times before answering. "Yes, of course we do. I can take it or leave it. Sometimes, I just make up my grocery list in my head for the couple of minutes it takes. When we cuddle afterwards, he makes me feel so important to him--that's what I love about making love."
It was too much to contemplate now. I felt my eyelids becoming heavy from lack of sleep. Mom pulled the bedspread up over me, tucking the ends under to cradle me in a soft, warm cocoon.
Pulling her to me, I squeezed her hand, promising, "Mommy, I'll be a good girl."
She kissed my forehead. "I know you will. You've always been my good little girl." Turning to leave my room, she hesitated. "Once you're married and have sex, your menstrual pain will get better," she said.
"Mom, why is it called 'the birds and bees' talk? It doesn't have anything to do with them."
"I don't know, sweetie, it just is." My mother seemed quite relieved to finish our chat. Stepping outside my bedroom, she paused. "I wish I was going to have my little girl a little longer," she said sadly.
"Me, too. I love you, Mommy." My mother softly closed my door.
Two hours later, I woke up feeling better. I sat on the sofa in the den to watch cartoons. I overheard my mother on the phone talking with my grandmother.
"Mama, Amelia became a woman today," Mom announced proudly.
I cringed, mortified my mother had revealed something so personal to anyone. Was she calling my aunts as well to give them the good news? Did Daddy know? I didn't even want to think about that. I wasn't ready for this woman thing to be thrust on me--I was just a kid. It was the worst and longest day of my life. I couldn't wait for it to end. That night, I crawled into bed and said my prayers. "God, you don't need to worry about me being a virgin until I marry. With all of that other stuff involved, which sounds just way too awful, not to mention disgusting, I'm going to wait until I'm a hundred years old. God," sighing softly, "having babies doesn't seem to be so important anymore. Make me strong and pure 'cause I want to be a good girl all my life. In Jesus' name, amen."
My childlike vow to God, given in sincerity, would make me determined. No one wants to disappoint God, even when He seems so far away at times. More importantly, because I lived with and saw her daily, loving her so dearly, I never, ever wanted to disappoint my mother.
Little did I realize how my vow and resolve would be tested.
The direction of the temptation would shock and almost destroy me.
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