Series: Pity #1
Publication date: May 18th, 2023
Synopsis:
Faith
I should've known it wouldn't work out.
In all my twenty-nine years, life has never been smooth sailing when a man was involved. Astor Hill was everything I've ever wanted in a partner--handsome, successful, and interested in me. Until he started cheating. The cherry on the sundae is finding out the truth less than two weeks before we've supposed to stand up for our best friends at their wedding.
When a staggeringly good-looking and kind stranger comes to town and offers to take me to the wedding, I jump at his proposal. Who cares if he's gay? Astor doesn't need to know that.
Teddy
She thinks I'm gay?!
I'm taking a vacation from Hollywood and going back to Elk Lake. My grandfather hasn't been doing well after Gram died and he needs my support. Luckily, I'm between blockbuster movies so I can make the time.
My first stop is Rosemary's Bakery for one of the gingersnaps I remember so fondly from my childhood. The only problem is that the girl at the counter has eaten them all. After spilling my tea on me, she bursts into tears and tells me her troubles. I should be annoyed but I'm oddly charmed.
I know what it's like to be dumped by a cheater, so I do the only thing I can think of: I offer to take her to the wedding to make her ex jealous. Unfortunately, with the help of the tabloids, things quickly spiral out of control...
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Excerpt
Teddy
Shopping with Faith is like giving a toddler free range to buy whatever they want. So far, she's added three kinds of sugary cereal to the cart, along with kettle corn, dry-roasted peanuts, fruit jerky, a jar of black olives, and a can of spray whipped cream. When she throws in a family-size package of bologna, I have to ask, "Do you normally eat like this?"
"Gross, no. But when I'm sad, I crave all the things I used to love when I was a kid. You know, like bologna can magically whisk me back to a carefree time when my heart wasn't broken."
On impulse, I toss a package of salami into the cart. My dad used to make fried salami sandwiches. He even made me one for breakfast on the day of his accident. I haven't allowed myself to eat one since, as though the sandwich was the reason that semi hit him from behind.
Once we get into the checkout line, I spy a tabloid with my picture on the cover. The headline reads "Alpha Dog Teddy Helms is on the Prowl!" Oh. My. God. They're using a picture of me thumping melons at the farmers' market. It's so suggestive I can't help but grimace.
As I step between the magazine rack and Faith, so she doesn't see it, a kid standing behind us tries to bodily move me out of the way to get to the bubble gum display.
When I don't budge, he says, "Dude, what's your problem? I need a Hubba Bubba." Faith grabs a pack and hands it to him. Taking it, he offers a reluctant, "Thanks." Then he gets back in line while giving me an odd look. I can't tell if it's because he recognizes me or he thinks I'm a jerk for not moving. Either way, it leaves me on edge.
"I used to love Bazooka bubble gum," Faith says. "It was wrapped in those silly comics, but that always made it feel extra special, you know?"
"I loved it too, but it's hard to come by these days," I tell her.
"They carry it at the Purple Cow down the street." She picks up several packages of fruit-flavored Tic Tacs and puts them on the conveyer belt with her order.
I start to unload the cart. "My grandfather used to take me there for grape soda floats. I can't believe it's still around."
"You'd be surprised how many places are still here from our childhood. Once people open a business in Elk Lake, they rarely close it."
"Summers are still pretty busy then?" I ask.
Putting the extra-large bottle of Cuervo Gold behind her Tic Tacs, she answers, "Oh, yeah. Now that there are all those websites that rent places by the night or week, there's a steady traffic of new faces everywhere you look."
"My grandparents used to rent by the month," I tell her. "They'd come at the end of May and leave after Labor Day."
"How long did you stay?" she asks.
"I was usually here from mid-June to mid-August. I wanted to have some time at home with my friends."
"Where did you grow up?"
"Scottsdale. That made leaving during the summer months extra enticing." I tell her, "I'm not a fan of a-hundred-and-twenty-degree days. Our poor dog had to pee inside, so he didn't burn his paws."
"Did you have a lot of summer friends in Elk Lake?" she wants to know.
I push the cart forward in line. "A few. But honestly, I was here to spend time with my grandparents." She looks at me oddly. "I bet that makes me sound like a real dork, huh?"
"I think it makes you sound like a nice guy. I love my grandparents too, and I don't know what I would have done without them."
As the cashier starts to ring up our purchases, I ask, "Are they still alive?"
"My grandmother is, but Gramps died over ten years ago."
"How's your grandmother doing with that?" I ask.
"It was a tough transition at first, but she went back to work so that helped fill some of her time."
The cashier gives Faith an odd look as she rings up her order before asking, "Break-up?"
Faith nods her head. "What gave it away?"
"The lack of tampons," the older woman says. "When I used to shop like this, it was either my period or a breakup."
Faith doesn't seem at all insulted by this personal information being bandied about. Instead, she asks, "Are you happily married now?"
"No way. Honey, I realized twenty years ago that the only man I needed was Tom Selleck. He does more for me on the television screen than any real man has ever done in person."
Sliding her credit card into the payment machine, Faith tells her, "If only I didn't want kids."
"Cats are a very viable alternative," the checker tells Faith. The she eyes me before asking her, "This isn't the loser who broke your heart is it?" Her hand hovers above the "This Line Closed" sign like she's going to refuse me service if I am.
WHITNEY DINEEN loves to laugh, play with her kids, bake, and eat french fries -- not always in that order.
Whitney is a multi-award-winning author of romcoms, non-fiction humor, and middle reader fiction. Basically, she writes whatever the voices in her head tell her to.
She lives in the beautiful Pacific Northwest with her husband, Jimmy, where they raise children, chickens, and organic vegetables.
Gold Medal winner at the International Readers' Favorite Awards, 2017.
Silver Medal winner at the International Readers' Favorite Awards, 2015, 2016.
Finalist RONE Awards, 2016.
Finalist at the IRFA 2016, 2017.
Finalist at the Book Excellence Awards, 2017.
Finalist Top Shelf Indie Book Awards, 2017.
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