Publication date: October 6th, 2020
Synopsis:
I wasn't supposed to find Selexah in this life.
Timing is one of the wierdest things in the world. Some people are like magnets. Their chemistry is undeniable. The ones who look at each other in a way every person on the planet prays someone will look at them. There are two people, who clearly have a connection, but for a reason secret to everyone except the universe, they can't be together. Maybe it's because one of them is interested when the other is not. Maybe in the instant that the person who was interested first gives up, the other decides to start holding on. Maybe it's a physical distance between two locations. Maybe it's not being single at the same time. I doubt, however, that anyone has ever thought, before today, that maybe, it's because one of them is dead.
And, I am dead.
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📌 From release day until the last day in October the author will donate $1 of every paperback sold to The Women's Coalition Against Violence and Exploitation for domestic violence awareness month!
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Excerpt
"I'm dead." The nonnegotiable in our relationship. "I'll never be able to give you those things." I take a few steps away from her, and stare down at the ground instead of at her.
"No one has ever asked you to give me those things, Kiidus." She walks in the other direction, expanding our distance and leaving her back facing me.
"You shouldn't have to ask, Selexah. Those things should be a given." I take one step and then stop, not sure we're ready to close the gap we created.
"Plenty of people never have those things and still live full lives." Her voice is rising. "Some because they choose it and others because life , for whatever reason, just doesn't work out like they pictured in their heads."
"I know that, but you want those things. I know you do from your thoughts. You think about children and travel and a wedding, and you're magnificent in every way. You'd have no trouble living the life that you picture in your hand."
"I picture that life with you. It's not something I want if you're removed from the picture." Her voice is quiet now, and I take the new calm as a sign to eliminate the distance between us.
I watch as her eyes finally meet mine. She's looking at the new body in front of her. I'm seventeen today, the same age as I was the day I died. This Holder has dyed silver hair and is wearing square black glasses. He has scratchy cheeks from his budding facial hair. His dark skin is covered in sunspots and his hands are full of calluses. He has a long nose and soft brown eyes. When I saw them in the mirror it took me by surprise, because his eyes are like the calm before the storm. They're inviting and tranquil, but deep underneath, there's a rumbling of what's to come. The roar of the cyclone.
"This Holder has compelling eyes." Selexah strokes my cheeks and lets a small smile cross her face.
"I noticed that as well." She falls into my chest and wraps her arms around my body. "I don't want to fight with you, Kiidus. I just want to be with you, everything else doesn't matter, we'll find a way to live out my life together, and if I have to make some sacrifices to do that, then I will."
I hug her closer, pulling her to my new body. I kiss the top of her head, and for a while, we just stand there holding each other.
"I don't want you to sacrifice anything to be with me. You sacrifice enough with all of the waiting you're forced to do." My voice sounds deafening after the long silence.
"If I consider the two-lives idea, can we stop this for now? Put this discussion on pause. If I end up with those things, it won't be tomorrow. We have time to think about this, to keep talking about it, but right now, let's just be together. It's been three weeks. I've missed you."
"I've missed you too. I always do." I press my lips to hers. Her lips feel softer than they usually do, another indication that things never stay the same. She pulls away from me and looks at the body in front of her. Her eyes moving down, then up, and then down again.
"You're younger today, like you were with Jason." She pulls at my shirt and I let her reel me back into her.
"I just took who was available." I rest my chin on her head, enjoying her scent.
"I like it." She moves out from under me that she can look me in the eye.
"Can we take a walk?" I smile down at her and feel my stress start to evaporate as she smiles back up at me.
"We can do anything you want." She holds her hand out for mine, and we turn to head away from her house. Away from the new idea that looms over us, the idea of a chance--of a possibility--of a life where we both get each other and everything we want.
Shalana Battles is a YA/Adult writer who tells stories about love... sometimes with witches and ghosts. Her debut novel, SOUL JUMPER is coming out October 6th, 2020. Be the first to hear about upcoming projects and book updates by signing up for her newsletter below!
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