Review: Crying Out Silent by Marita A. Hansen @MaritaAHansen

Title: Crying Out Silent

Author: Marita A. Hansen

Publication date: June 27th, 2018

Pages: 361

Synopsis (according to Goodreads):

Two high school students make an unlikely alliance--one their friends must break before death does.

The day I met Ash Rata was the first day I started dying, not because of Ash, but because of one of his friends. Ant Torres made me suffer, tormenting me because he thought I was a pretty boy. I am a boy, yet I'm also a girl. Neither one nor the other, but both.

Intersex.

While Ant was a closeted gay rugby player who used violence to get what he wanted.

Me.

But I didn't want him--I wanted the unattainable.

Ash.

The beautiful boy who was hiding a secret as big as mine, one that would unite us... until death do us part.

Please note that this book contains sensitive topics such as suicide and assault (R18)

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Review:

I received an electronic copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

There is always a time in a book reviewers life where they attempt to find something new, something unusual, and something they don't normally find themselves reading. Think of it as our way of stretching our book review angel wings and looking for new adventures. This book was one such experience. I am not usually one who reads books that involve LGBT. Not because I have anything against the genre, but because when you're a straight female who chronically gets lost in romance books, it's hard to star in a role with someone of the same gender when not into that sort of thing. But, as I had never experienced this type of book before, I was curious. I decided to try it out and see what came of it.

Llewelyn is not like the other kids at school. Llewelyn is neither a straight boy, gay boy, straight girl, or gay girl. He is something in between: both girl and boy. This ultimately leads to a lot of strife as kids in his school don't know how to treat him. He is too beautiful to be a boy, but has always been considered a boy on both paper and when enrolling in schools. Llewelyn has just transferred to a new school where he knows nobody. It doesn't take long for the school bully to set his sights on the timid creature, but for a different reason than Llewelyn thought. It seems Ant has an attraction for him that he is not likely to give up without a fight.

Then there's Ash. Llewelyn is immediately attracted to the most popular, gorgeous boy in school but it isn't until trauma and circumstances brings the two together that a kinship is born. L and Ash know the pain of violence, sex, and how the two when combined can cause irreparable damage. But when neither of them seem to be able to find a way to keep their heads above water will they at least have each other when they start to sink?

Oh my goodness, L is a heartbreak personified. I can't believe how much he goes through and how he still finds a way to care about the people around him more than his own emotions. L is just the best complimenting character to Ash and his brooding spirit. I found myself rooting for the two despite the fact that their relationship would be difficult to truly formulate into an actual relationship. I wanted Ash to admit his feelings for L even though they were utterly confusing. I wanted L to assert himself more and prove that the best match for Ash was him. I wanted Ant to be eaten alive by fire ants.

The many traumatic experiences of the characters became a bit overwhelming. It seemed like EVERYONE was being violated or beat on one way or the other. It wasn't enough for me to roll my eyes with a resounding "here we go again", but it did get old fast. Did they all have to be scarred in some way? But, I did find myself pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed the book. It was definitely something that most authors would shy away from. It was also something new for me and I'm glad I took the time to explore unknown book genres.

"Crying Out Silent" is a book that is unafraid to delve into the gritty darkness or sex and violence and find the beauty that lurks within.